You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
