wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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