so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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