I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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