Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
