the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The cops high fived after they tackled you
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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