I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
