at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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