omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
