two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Your cock deserves a montage
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
