yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
