I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I could fuck to npr.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
