Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
