dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
