going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
