I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
