you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize