What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
