So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize