He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
