strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
