I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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