she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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