So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
