party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
