she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
