Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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