So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Pants are for mortals
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
