found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
