No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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