I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
