In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
