it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize