The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize