She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
