idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize