playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
