I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I will be naked everywhere
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
