I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
