i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
That's intense
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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