I have demons in me.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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