Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize