arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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