He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
