i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
