You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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