It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
