I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize