Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize