i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
