i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
