Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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