So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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