You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
