I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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