They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
