Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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