my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
