he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
