Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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