I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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